A bit quick, and I’m not sure what to make of it. She’s literally an angel? They’re really vampires and demons? It’s a fun comeback and all, I think I just got lost in what was intended, somewhere between the exposition paragraph at the start and the ‘Twilight’ reference (the movie reference made it seem like a poser bar for goth kids and not real vampires, but everything else points to angels, demons, a la that bar in Buffy).

Ha, a fallen angel. Nice angle. I think that would be an interesting character to explore.

I liked this bit a lot. Although the Twilight reference did make it seem like a poser bar, and not actually a bar in hell. But I like the creativity. Good job.