Creepy feel, very effective on that point. A little vampire love story, how your protagonist starts down the path? Though the feel is great, you have a lot of run-on sentences, usually via a “comma splice”. Just a little bit of grammar polish could go a long way here to let your themes and descriptions shine through.

Totally intriguing! The sentence; “We were the last human beings for miles.” gave me chill. Very creepy.

I didn’t find them very distracting, but there were a few different places where there should’ve been a conjunction to break up a run on sentence.

Regardless, awesome story! Very good plot. Off to read the sequel!

gave me a* chill.

Thanks for the comments THX and Kihd. I tried to clean up the story a bit so I hope it reads more fluidly now. Sequel is also up now, but Kihd knows that already :)

Thanks again guys, it’s good to get feedback when writing something completely new to you :)

Very interesting. Good use of description, especially in terms of the colors that are missing. The longing for colors even from the cuts on his hands.