I’m just a lowly civil servant, paid measly wages to do the bidding of my employer – the United States Government. More precisely: the Department of Timeline Stability. You haven’t heard of us. Trust me.

When I was recruited out of Dartmouth, my handler asked me if I’d ever heard of the Butterfly Effect. You know – the thought that the smallest change can have far reaching effects.

“Sure, everyone’s read the Bradbury story. Kill a butterfly in the past, change the future.”

“How would you like to step on butterflies for Uncle Sam, kid?”

Okay, it didn’t really happen like that, but I like my Hollywood version better than the grueling psychological exams, stress tests and miles of paperwork I actually had to go through to gain my employment.

They call us Exterminators, and we change the future of America (and the world, typically as a byproduct) by squishing bugs in the past. And we never had this conversation. Literally.