THX 0477, no matter when I drop back in to Ficly, after any amount of time, I can always count on you being here & active :D

On the topic of this ficly, I find it both erotic & horrifying, which I’m guessing you were going for. Mission Accomplished. Call me sick, but this totally turns me on.

And yes, I do have a suggestion. I think it would be perfect & sufficient if you dropped the “Down became up. Chaos became peace.” I think “Shade became light” is a wonderful line that will stand on its own.

Cheers.

Wow, that’s… terrific. In both the sense of terrifying as well as excellent!

I can’t decide whether this is perfect as a standalone or something that would benefit from a prequel (or sequel). Starting such a horrific situation in media res is a great narrative approach, but the alternative avenue of exploring the greater setting could work too. Creepy stuff!

There are some creepy-cool descriptions here. Cool stuff!

I love reading stories like this, you’ve got a brilliant story here THX. It was erotic, creepy and mysterious. I hope I can write to this level some day :)

You guys are far too kind. My mind keeps pushing forward on sequels, but I’m holding off for now. I try not to sequel my own stuff for some neurotic reason. Anyone who would like to is welcome to jump in with one.

Thanks for the detailed feedback Kay-Teaze. I liked your idea and actually made that change.

In my opinion, this is a great standalone. It lets the mind wander. :)

Like everybody else said, very creepy details! It paints such a crazy picture. Outstanding!

this is so creepy.
Unsettling, actually, for me.
To me, it’s like she is experiencing the wrong emotional reactions, which makes me infer that they are induced upon her.
Now I totally understand that sometimes we DO experience the opposite emotions to a situation and that’s perfectly healthy in some cases, but I guess I’m wondering about whether the scaled beast and gateway are literal or figurative. :) That changes the whole tone of the piece.

Gotta say that this is immensely awesome. So well written and full of meaning and deep emotions. Very cool, THX.

Wow. I love the details, and I don’t find them creepy at all. I like the vivid imagery and use of words. It gives the piece a deeper meaning. I would like to see a sequel, but maybe of the complete opposite emotion?
Great job.