Very nice scene here. Imagery and pacing is very good and it makes me want to read the prequel. And I suppose that is a compliment to the sequel!

One concern I had, however, was the beginning of the second paragraph. I’m not sure how exactly I would redo it, but it feels like there was a barrage of “her” and “she” in the first couple sentences of the paragraph. You might play with the working a bit to help it be more smooth there.

Neat description/hints about the creature. I like how it now has even more layers, with the capture, conflict, escape, abandonment, and now the possibility of voyeuristic overseers of some sort.

yes, a lot of ‘her’ in there. hmm. I’ll have to think about it. :) thanks you two! These are mighty tall compliments!

Someone needs to make an addition to this already! The sequels make the story more and more interesting! I like how the feeling of the story didn’t change, even though it was by another writer. Great job!

You were in the zone in the 1st paragraph / present. Great rhythm and word choice. Excellent descriptions in paragraph two. Nice ending too. Great work, ElshaHawk!

Wow… reminds me of the kitchen scene from Jurassic park! I didn’t read the others but I will tomorrow. its past my bedtime. gratz on the feature!