A neat idea that you built up well. Still it reads more like a synopsis than an actual story narrative. Would be neat to see how you play the scenario out a bit more.
Thanks for the feedback. The idea originally came to me after reading A. Bertram Chandler’s “Frontier of the Dark.” I highly recommend reading this novel; it’s a bit of a quickie, short and fast-paced, but it’s well written. The story just seemed to loan itself to this kind of continuation. Please understand that this segment is really to be the end of the story, wrapping up any loose ends that would have come before that were still untied. I’m not expecting any sequels to this, though prequels would be nice.
Interesting concept. I didn’t guess the ending! A nice touch, mourning those lost, it felt almost like there could be more. The description of, for lack of a better word, monsters doesn’t quite sit right with me. I’m not quite sure what feeling you were going for but that broke right through it.
Yeah, to be honest, I wasn’t sure I had that description quite right myself; I’m wondering whether or not I should just cut it out, and leave the audience with what was already seen (for this is intended to be the end, after all).
Mmm, leaving things to peoples imaginations is sometimes better than stating it flat out. You could possibly cut that at ‘uninhabited’. Maybe add another line more.
Aw. I do love it when writers take a creature like a werewolf, normally associated with bad stuff, and give it the human abilities of grief, memory etc.
I’ve never read “Frontier of the Dark,” but I’ll certainly be looking into it now.
I actually liked the synopsis feeling of it. And I adored the first line and how it linked in to the last.
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