A story that worked for me on many levels. Going to read a few more times to understand why.

Great stuff.

A story that worked for me on many levels. Going to read a few more times to understand why.

Great stuff.

The whole set-up, which started out as vaguely comical, and then quickly turned into something much more sinister, is really well crafted.

There are some parts though which don’t quite ring true…

In this line: Some people eat until they don’t feel feelings- I eat. Do you mean ‘some people eat’, or something along the lines of ‘some people cry’ or ‘exercise’ – there’s no contrast between normality and Marleen’s way of dealing with feelings at the moment…

Also, what’s the relationship between these two people? It’s obviously close enough for the narrator to be bringing Marleen all this food, but at the same time he’s totally shocked when she tells him she’s going to eat it, so can he know her that well?

The idea and tone of the piece is very strong, and with some tweaks it could be particularly impactful – MH :)

This did have a comical tone to it at first, and then it got a little deeper. However I feel like it could have gotten even more serious maybe? I don’t know, I feel like this conversation ended too soon. Damn the character limit!

This was nice to read.

Sorry. I fixed the typo. That should have been DRINK until they don’t feel feelings. As far as the rest, I imagine she (Marleen) normally hides her gorging from onlookers and either this is a cry for help or she truly doesn’t care any more. Thanks for all the comments!

Another good entry. I love the outcry for help that grows apparent as the piece goes on.

Some people eat when they’re depressed. The sensation and taste of food triggers a specific dopamine reaction in the brain that creates a sort of euphoria that’s addictive. The deeper the depression, the greater the urge to eat. If Marleen is experiencing a truly difficult bout of depression, it’s no wonder she wants to eat lots and that the narrator is shocked by it.

I think I would have liked to know more about their relationship, especially since “You get what you want.” is added at the end.

It reads like an accurate description of a true story, ie: It rings true… It is also beautifully executed, and conveys and communicates a complete concept and subject for the readers to contemplate
and a very sound reason for someone to be a glutton, if food is all they really want in life.

“Diffident” made the mark.