Sadly (perversely?), this story was inspired by my own recent experience with being sick.

How utterly and despicably vile. Really, truly, repulsive! And a little disturbing, for good measure.

It’s certainly dark, and your writing has the fascinating quality of not just describing something horrifying, but having an inherently sinister, ominous and foreboding tone – it makes me feel quite perturbed.

Truly scary, and not for the faint-hearted, but a thrilling study in bile nonetheless – bravo! MH :)

Yuck, yech, and nicely done. Nice way to tie something from the middle to the ending, always a nice touch.

Okay, I did a sequel and in so doing took the liberty of deciding a little more about the setting, the time of year, and your protagonist’s ethnic background.

I thought naming him would be going too far though, you know, since it’s your story and all.

There’s always something about your writing, Jim, that repulses me while leaving me somewhat desiring more.

I particularly like the way the description in this piece expands across multiple senses.

@MH: I’ve debated putting an Explicit tag on this one, just for the general grodiness of the thing — but your reaction is exactly the one I wanted to evoke. It’s a disgusting situation, made all the worse by reversal at the end.

@THX: I enjoyed the sequel, which I may need to sequel in turn after I give it some thought.

@SSC: In this case, that’s the kind of reaction I like. The grossness is meant to be the foundation of something more, something bigger and, while revolting, it’s not intended to turn the reader away from the event transpiring around the protagonist but to pull the reader further in.

Are you really this dark inside your mind, or is it just when you come to Ficly?? But as Shu Sam said, it’s repulsive, so much so that it draws you in.

I’m this dark when I write fiction. I’m actually a pretty upbeat person in daily living. I just really enjoy dark fiction, and I’ve always had a rather twisted imagination. :)