Very dramatic little moment here. I’m really curious to read the prequel to see what it’s all about. You really drew out the suspense and drama of it well.

Minor point—you have two with’s in the first sentence.

Although I haven’t read the prequel (which perhaps I should have done first!) I just know I want to carry on reading !:) – I love the last line, it’s so brief yet so effective! – Oh and the writing style reminds me slightly of ‘The Great Gatsby’! ;)