Lovely, touching, and just a bit silly. Great analogy for life, healing, and whatnot. Love the childlike aspect to using a glow stick for the analogy.

Powerfully optimistic and poetically innocent, I only wish this was always the case.

Encouraging.

And here I always thought it was because I accidentally swallowed the one they stuck in my drink at the rave.

haha, yeah, well, I’m not satisfied with the title. It is eye-catching, but misleading because nothing about it says ‘this is going to be a sentimental, thought-provoking, innocent piece.’ I guess if gets you read it, then it stays.

Parts of the metaphor work really well. Surprisingly well, in fact.

The phrase “fallen down” seems a bit awkward, as though the verb tense is slightly different than for the other phrases. “Everything” should likely be italicized: it looks naked otherwise.

There’s one phrase that doesn’t do anything for me: “listen to the waves crash in whispers to your soul.” No matter how many times I read this, I can’t make anything of it.

The phrase “you realize the truth” begins to express some idea that doesn’t seem to be explored at all. Given what follows, I’d suggest “you begin to see the way out” or something of that vein.

While I appreciate the metaphor, there is one part here that I found a bit sinister and it’s in your final sentence. “All they have to do is start their own chemical reaction inside.” How does this piece suggest that that starts? By having something within you break! I’ve kind of been in the situation you describe before, and I wouldn’t wish that type of breakage on anyone.

I love the title. A very nice piece :)

I love the way you can make the glow-stick analogy go all the way! Break, shake, glow, shine – it’s beautiful.

If I may nitpick, I’m not sure why “Everything” has to be uppercase. I’d expect perhaps italics for emphasis, but uppercase evokes (to me) allegory or perhaps an archetype.

Great choice for a healing visual.

@August, 1.be in a state of sensory deprivation, it’s a metaphoric ocean, inside the waves you can only be you, 2. the truth is the real you, as explained in the next two sentences, 3. yes, either break, or at least warm up and realize something revolutionary. And yes, I don’t wish that on people, but it leads to healing. At least, in this story it does. We all have to hit rock bottom sometime. Then there is nowhere to go but up.

awww. I relate. And hope that i start to glow pretty soon =]…The title absolutely made my day. As always, a great piece of writing to bring a smile to all of our faces.
Abby
x

I came here expecting to hear a tale about the misadventures of a raver and glow sticks where they don’t go. Pleasantly surprised and a little bit disappointed at the same time.

yep. that was what i was afraid of. :P