Amidst the phenomenon of public transit, which most agree is the least clean phenomenon ever except for, like, disease and death phenomenons, or, uh… phenomeni? Anyway, you don’t really expect to see anyone that you’ll connect with. I mean, look at that smiling couple to your right. They’re friendly, in an insular way. They don’t even know we exist. We are all ghosts to them. There’s that image, you’ve seen it, where the teenager is listening to their iPod and is all sprawled out, right? They’re just being honest about their apathy.

Anyway, point is, you know that when a guy sits down right next to you and starts talking to you like he knows you, like you and him are old friends, that he’s batshit crazy. No other possibility. He may look cute and old, and you may think, “Oh, it’s his traditional values. You don’t see dedication to community like that anymore!” Yeah, not the case. There’s only five people who are immune to the inherent de-socializing effects of public transit. I’m the third one.