Some intriguing stuff, especially if that’s his sister whom he is regarding. It could benefit a ton from breaking it into paragraphs of some sort—just helps readability. At it was a bit of a rough start with a really unfortunately placed typo (‘at’ for an ‘as’, though even then having ‘as’ twice in a row isn’t great).

Appreciate your feedback! Thanks for pointing out the “at.” It shouldn’t be there at all.

Interesting. Gabriella is a good name for the “man-eater” and God knows I’ve been a fool for a woman with a crooked smile before. Thank you for being interested enough to prequel my story.