Wow. Amazing. I love the rhythm and the rhyme which you stuck to throughout, and the sort of childhood “feel” you injected into it.

My only criticism is that a bit more consistency other than the word “dolphins” in the final line of each stanza would have added much more effect and tied the entire poem together a bit more.

Good job!

Superb job rhyming edge with pilgrimage— that was your best line in my opinion. And I must say that I enjoyed the story too. I’m a dolphin fan I’ll admit it. Have you ever touched one before? I swear it’s incredible, they feel like rubberized silk.

When did you write this originally? I always find it interesting to know those details. I want to check out how well the original one fared in fanfare… comments, views, ratings etc.. it’s a big part of the challenge. Please copy and paste a link to it for me if you’d be so kind :)

Thanks for the feedback. I love dolphins, but I’ve never touched one. These ones were very much wild in the Murray Firth of Scotland. I wrote it earlier this…I mean LAST year, easter actually, when I was stayed near my uncle’s with a friend.

http://ficly.com/stories/17585
is the link. I did get a couple of comments but they were quite brief and no rating =[…
x

Cute with a sweet sort of rhythm to it. I absolutely know the feeling of triumphant discovery of this kind, that happy, nonmaliscious gloating of having found something neat like that. Lovely poem.