I took the marker and started drawing a spiral. Nothing else, just a spiral. I kept drawing around and around and around and around. The red went on and on and on and on and on in one huge spiral, over and over and over. In circles, one big circle, I just kept drawing. Staring. Watching. I don’t know how long.
I was numb. I didn’t know what to think, I had nothing left to think. I didn’t want to think anymore, I didn’t want to deal with it, with anything. I wanted to stay there forever, staring at the spiral I was drawing, on and on and on and on and on. The monotonous pattern… around and around and around. Staring. Not thinking. Numb.
Nothing could enter here. Nothing mattered anymore. But at the same time, everything did, right then more than ever. Everything hidden came rushing out, out of my head and my heart, onto the paper. Around and around and around.
I didn’t think it. I didn’t let anything register, just let emotions take over thought… and drew. Around and around and around and around.