Some really neat story elements introduced here, especially the hint about the remains being disappointing which could mean any number of things.

English as a second language? I almost hesitate to comment on it, but the grammar stuff wound up very distracting and really took away from the neat story ideas you came up with.

@ THX- I completely agree. There is a lot of stuff here that really works and it seems pretty clear that he read ours and like it enough to add on. So, for that- thank you. On the other hand, Klaus, if you’d like, I’d be happy to clean up the grammar errors and send it to you via a note. Or we could do it the hard way as comments here. This is an offer of help more than it is a criticism, so please don’t take it the wrong way.

Also Merry Monthquel! (I think that’s appropriate here)

thanks both of you for passing by and the comments, i’m glad that likes it
fortunately, the text limit keeps me from getting too far

yes, english is my second language, i would be more than happy to mend the errors, please tell me

Merry Monthquel!
Feliz Mes de las Segundas Partes!
(a literal translation would be Happy Month of the Second Parts)

Happy Month of the Second Parts? I LOVE IT!

hello ficly-people! after several months, i’ m back
my first action was put the revised edition of my tale, Robert Quick was the corrector, hope that now likes better =)