He cannot be the brother of my best friend. He cannot give carnations for our anniversary. He cannot nickname me Fish. He cannot pay someone to ask me on a date and tell everyone in the 8th grade making a mockery of my pain. He cannot ask me to Homecoming because his girlfriend dumped him. He cannot leave me 8 machine messages between 3 and 3:45. He cannot take Amanda to Sadie Hawkin’s without dumping me first. He cannot be less than 5’7". He cannot kiss me under the stairs of the gymnasium. He cannot tell me that more than a handful is a waste. He cannot know the truth. He cannot almost die of an overdose. She cannot cling. He cannot sleep with 7 women. He cannot request a Clinton action figure for Christmas. He cannot pretend to be the one who almost overdosed. He cannot move to Chicago. He cannot leave an entire William Fitzsimmons song on my voicemail. He cannot be English charming. He cannot disappear for a weekend to have a threesome with Craigslist strangers. He cannot offer to take care of me.