“My brother said he’d punch the next guy who tried to sell him Xfinity.”

“The cable company? Why?”

“On the grounds that he was defending the English language from the predilections of savages and butchers. I think he’s tired of people making up words to define things. Or he just snapped. Who knows.” Brian’s eyes grew mischievous. “So I gave his number to the Xfinity sales department-”

“You did not!

“I did. And it was awesome. You’d think they’d stop sending people to him.”

“What do you mean?”

“As far as I know he’s still there, punching out stupid people.”

“When was that?”

“Three days ago. The ground is literally littered with unconscious sales people.”

“Is he going to hit people from the SyFy channel or anyone that uses n-i-t-e, instead of n-i-g-h-t.”

“I’d be terribly disappointed if he didn’t. Why stop there? He has people to beat and many more before he can sleep.” Brian misquoted.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re a weird fucking person?”

“Yeah, all the time.”

“Good, because you really are.”