I like it! This a good sequel. It continues the narrative and brings something new to the party. I may continue this tonight, pending my muses’ status.

The only criticisms I can offer is: I don’t think the gravelly voice part is necessary. I liked the snake part though. Maybe “My voice was low and dangerous”. The other part is use of the word scent. I associate scents as pleasant. Instead, I’d use the word stink to convey the dislike of our protagonist. As always, my suggestions are just that- suggestions. Nice work!

Changed “scent” to “stink” but I kept the gravelly voice — I like the evocation of gravelly-voiced Western gunslingers, or for a sort of smoking masculinity if we elect to make the protagonist female.

Hope you do continue this, I’m having fun with it.

nice explanation at the end! bonus points for falchion!

Thanks! I didn’t want to repeat “sword” too much.

Ooh, nice turn and twist at the end there. You don’t say much but a strong visual comes through all the same.

Thanks! I had a few more characters available but I couldn’t see the point of adding fluff and I feel like I got the “punch line” across within a narrative structure, which is the goal, right?