Ooo, as an ex-smoker the first line is painful! I like how you got all past participle on the word ‘shear’ by using ‘shorn’, haha, it’s a creative way to tell us her hair was burned off— and more concise, AND more poetic :) I can always tell it’s you by the blending of prose and poetry. And I relate to the 5th paragraph, personally.

I found this one slow to read, not exactly fluid, but I enjoyed the journey you took me on.

A female named Timothy? You don’t see many of those. Very exciting start. That first line got me—I even read it a few times just for fun. I liked the ‘reversal of Hebrew fate’ line. Nice use of a cultural reference.

Reading the sequel and prequel given, I review my story and all I can think is – you could take this in a lot of different directions.

I’ll end up filling in this story with my own personal take after the challenege is completed, but I love seeing this story through the eyes of others.

@ Tad & THX – The first line is my favorite. ;)

Hard to believe how many different takes there are on this story hub. I’m looking forward to seeing your original idea, Rose. Don’t keep us waiting.

I’ll get it up sometime after the challenge is over – 25th and/or beyond.

I really like all the work people are putting on this… so cool.

My own thoughts are quite different than what has been offered thus far, It’ll be neat to see what people think of that.

It’s so awesome to have people building on an idea of mine and adding their own touch to it…

I LOVE MONTHQUEL!

This is a really great piece and much deserving of the win on its merits alone. I look forward to diving into the sequels and prequels.