This was written well but i wish there could have been more suspense. but overall good.

Thanks, I’m still trying to get into the habit of fiction that is simultaneously a part of a narrative and supposed to stand on its own.

if it stands on it’s own, you have reached nirvana. :) sometimes a piece just doesn’t work that way, sometimes it just magically reaches that place, and sometimes you make it work.
And yes, she is now a hypocrite. :)

Nice prose, like the first one. One qualm I had was I guess I would have liked more description of the transformation process and the feelings of the MC during it. I think there was a lot of narrative potential there. But I guess, if I feel strongly enough about that I should go back and sequel the other. =P Anyway, great job.

I wasn’t sure that doing a transformation scene would work with the first person pov everyone’s been using, since we established in Nascent Flames that the other new vampire didn’t wake up until he was in mortal danger.

I really like the image of the manicured gravedigger. The contrast is really unique! Dirt and beauty, side by side.

Quick but exciting and definitely keeps things moving. I did like the part about feeling a bit like a hypocrite.