Where did this come from? This was an out-of-the-blue find that made me laugh. Best line: “Publishing and Clearing are expensive activities.” The capitalization sells it.

Oh man, this is great. I am endlessly in admiration of funny people, because I am terrible at being funny. Not a useful critique, but there you go.

I wish I could be this funny all the time. Masterful use of punctuation and capitalization, especially in a run-on that actually works as a run-on!

Just a couple grammar quibbles: prize-check should probably be two words, but I’d just go with “check” to save space, and I think the opening line should be “don’t trust” instead of “didn’t”, although I could be wrong.

Fantastic work all around!