I can’t wait to see how far Herb will go. :)

Aha. I love stalker tales. Have you seen “U Be Dead” real life drama of stalker Maria Marchese.

no, I haven’t. I’m not a horror-movie fan, and that sounds creepy! I prefer to write horror, where I know the ending and all the surprises!

I haven’t read any of the prequels to this story, so I feel a little lost. (Blame it on the Ten Ficly Bounce!)

One technical suggestion: many of your sentences begin with “Herb,” “he,” or “he’d.”
As a creative exercise, try beginning sentences with prepositional phrases, adverbs, adjectives, and -ing words. It shakes up the flow and forces you as the writer to be more imaginative. These tricks have helped me improve dramatically.

edited, it’s always good to go back and make changes!