Astounding!

you forgot “reprobate” ;-)

This is totally amazing. I can’t think of any critiques to offer; I’m completely entertained and amused.

What. The. Heck.
Really?
I needed a good laugh around now.
But … really?
This reminds me of Conan O’Brien’s James “The Gentleman Masher” Corcoran. Hilarious.

Amazing diction. Mad props from over here.

Glad some folks enjoyed it. I may document more Notable Sporting Events at some point.

Well done sir!

I have nothing else to say

That’s…different.

I like how you blended the archaic language with a vulgarity that we don’t tend to associate with the period, and the idea of a man dying of naughty words is just glorious.

The action in the paragraph beginning “A fist…” could be more clear, and the insults seem to weaken near the end, while it would make more sense for those to be the most vulgar, or at least the most insulting.

It’s unique, fun, silly. I like it.