I saw this girl with purple hair today. I found her to be most attractive, and wanted nothing more then to talk to her. I looked at her, hoping she would see my interest and say something.

She saw me alright, she gave me a look; that look that women give you when they don’t want to be bothered. I then blurted out, “Purple hair doesn’t make you more interesting!” I regretted saying it as soon as it left my lips. She was quick to respond, saying something about me being a dick, and her wanting attention.

There is a lesson to be learned here, it has nothing to do with my white trainers and everything to do with getting laid or not getting laid. If you like someone, don’t just stare and say something stupid, smile and grab your dick.

Note to self: Purple hair women are sarcastic, condescending and hot. Next time, offer a compliment. Compliments equal sex. Insults equal bitchiness.