“he was supposed to be cleaning the store’s grease trap, though it could easily be argued that’s exactly what he was doing.” Brilliant.

And then it actually turns into a pretty complete character study, considering the limitations on length. Like it a lot.

I just wanted to say that I thought the repetition of “Women always did like Jack.” was great.

And you’re kinda left to wonder who the narrator is, which is another plus. Personally, I pictured him as the dad, but there’s a whole spectrum of possibilities…

I read this yesterday and I thought I’d commented, but apparently I am all-around sucky person! I really like the tone; although it’s ostensibly about Jack, the narrator’s voice is so distinct that both characters are fully fleshed out by the end. I need to attempt a piece that is self-contained like this; I don’t seem to be very good at that.

Yeah, I really dig that you get such a sense of both characters.