Hm… a few corrections. At the end of the phone conversation, it should be “shrieked” instead of “shreaked” – might “screeched” work better, since you have the children shrieking as they come in?
Also – Ms. Ko starts out as Ana, but you’ve got the name Regina in the second half.
~ ~ ~ Yikes – if her life is that much of a mess she shouldn’t be in charge of other people’s kids.
It was good, but the first dialogue portion felt a little long for an arguement, unless Roger is very patient.
I like the idea, but there seems to be a flow that isn’t quite grasped.
Wasn’t sure what age these kids were supposed to be.. tests for a sub are easy, BTW. She is quite an ineffective one! Also, why does she have to pick Ed up? does he go to preschool that is half day? is he sick at daycare?
THX 0477
Jae
RoseTone ~LoA~
ElshaHawk (LoA)