I didn’t always have the nerve I do now, mostly because I’ve had to work up to it and fall a little along the way. And really, it’s like anything else we’re made to learn. Riding a bike, skating, getting the job—hell—eating an ice cream cone gracefully—these all take practice, perseverance, and the belief in the intention “Everything works out in the end.”

So, when he walks by and pains my entire being with a smile of acknowledgement every day, I seek out his eyes—and the anguished, giddy feeling inside me admonishes this mantra. I smile back out of courtesy, but moreso to cover the fact that my mind is much more playful, fleetingly imagining him half naked, leaning against my bathroom sink, his blond hair tousled, and with that same smile…