Knife in the groin… Ouch…

Correction note: I think the first sentence in the second paragraph is meant to say he said instead of just said.

I occasionally drop pronouns out just so I don’t feel like I’ve fallen into “He said, she said, they said,” territory. A bad habit I pick up every time I read Thomas Pynchon.

I like the phrase – ‘Eloise brushed a speck of dirt off of a shirt that no longerhad to capacity to appreciate such a gesture.’ So much more vivid, in every way, than "Eloise had a dirty shirt’. :)

I do agree with OrangeOreos – the ‘said’ is confusing. You could just leave it out. ‘Sides, there’s nothing wrong with ‘he said’.