Fresh from another three day binger, Charlie Sheen blundered through the door. Brow perspiring after ten-too-many tranquilizers, a venerable and hoary Jackhammer was ready for good old fashioned hooker plunderin’! Codpiece bulging, our hero prepared mount his nearest dame. Whether openly consensual or merely “compromised” consent, legendary plunging proudly commenced. Donning pairs of furry boots most men would be ashamed to display, they in turn gave sex appeal. Upon whiffing le odeur, countless loose women squealed with delight.

“Spank me!”, followed briskly by hand thwacking, succeeded swiftly via “HARDERS!”. Night listened, horrified.

“Amen,” ejaculated newly shining mancub.