I like it a lot, Dru. I think it could use some more forcefulness on both their parts. Linda’s first line is a little soft and some description of how angry she looks or how nervous/excited David is might work better for the overall tone.

Butt this is a difficult situation to describe in detail within such a short word limit, so good job!

Yeah, it does need something more to describe the scene. I need to tweak this story. Thanks for the feedback!

This porn has no genitals.

You know, I am apparently the dumbest for not picking up where this was going from the start. In my defense, it’s early here.

I find it amusing that only women have commented on this so far (aside from myself of course).

A masterpiece of trite idiomatic dissemblance. Outstanding!

Ooh. This was classy! The dialogue flowed really nicely, too!

didn’t even realize this was a classy porn challenge but still got that vibe from the beginning from some of the language (sweat, discipline)

you definitely set a mood, good work