I am not sure why you chose to write it in a semi-coherent manner. I would guess it’s to highlight the so many lives and deaths the character has gone through, so many that they just run into each other. That sounds nice, but it’s just a bit too hard to follow for me. (perhaps that’s the point?)

I like the ending, though. the coherent style of the last two sentences contrasts much with the previous paragraphs and ficly. Almost like it has meaning.

Oh right, the last sentence also gave me chills and a smile. I never knew that was possible.XD