This doesn’t fit the challenge because it is not in first person.
But I finished writing it anyway.

Ugh. How horrible. I know the pains of body issues quite intimately, so this really hit home. The only thing is the “your” that Babbidy Rabbit says…perhaps it’s “you’re?” Otherwise excellent.

Dear… god.

This is honestly the single most terrifying thing I have read in a long time.

But then, I always freak out when kids are in danger in any story. Must come from having a million little brothers and sisters to look after.

That last line is absolutely heartbreaking.

Only in today’s world could such a thing happen (and be conceived). It’s ridiculous how image has come to dominate one’s perceptions, especially of one as young as five years old. I have seen it, and I worry for the future. It’s so superficial it’s bound to rupture.

Great painful piece. Just one thing. I don’t get the dignity thing. I mean it’s understandable if it was a grown person, but in a child it’s just tragic. When you see a youngster with her stomach cut out, you don’t pity the loss of dignity. You just die a little inside.

I don’t think dignity was the right word either, but I couldn’t think of anything. When I find the right word I will change it, but for now dignity will have to do.

This is mortifying…I don’t have any words…

Grotesquely awesome piece of fiction.

Horrendous. But it may end up as a world where this is not uncommon, with so much emphasis on the perfect body. This is the grotesque world we live in. A freak show where the different are punished, even if by their dolls.

Whilst I think seven is a bit too young for a woman to worry about these things (and by that I mean that my seven year old cousin is far more interested in her dolls than her puppy fat) this is a good story. The last line is beautiful.

(One typo that I could only pick out: I think you mean tears trickled down her face, or from her eyes. I don’t think eyes provide enough length for trickling, plus tears come from the lower lid.)

Holy shit… It took my breath away…
And seven is not too young, although it should be. My sister is only nine and she worries about her fat.

Wow. Haunting. A twisted beauty to the writing makes it all the more tragic. Just Wow.

Wow. No.

Horrible and eye opening ending. Emily let the gang of negative entities change how she viewed and judged herself. Sad. You succeeded in evoking an emotional response from many people. That is a sign of a strong piece.

Got to agree with Pandora Jae [[LoA]] typo call out. That bugged me too.

I love the weird fiction side of this, with the toys berating the child. The child’s response is terrible, as well; it just feels a little forced to me. Granted, there isn’t a lot of room here to really develop the relationship between the toys and the child and the crushing of her psyche.

Wow. Just… wow.

Applause.