I’m not very good at putting my thoughts into words (at least, when it comes to commenting on others’ work), but I’ll try:

Your word choice was nearly-perfect, the story short and (not-so) sweet, and in approximately 1024 characters, you managed to make me feel frightened, sad, angry, and vaguely like I’d been run over by a tow-truck towing along a bulldozer.

So, you know, good job. :)

This is much, much better, Kusu. This character is simply much more realized and detailed than his counterpart. The speech patterns, the "ain’t"’s, the use of commas are all very well done and help make this character come alive in a way that the other didn’t.

The only thing that really bothers me is the last line. From both the prequel and the rest of this story, it seems a bit too self aware. Keep him naive, the reader knows it’s a lie, that’s what counts. Fantastic work, and also good use of the sequel function! Different perspectives are definitely welcome.

This character definitely feels real. The only bit I’d say you might want to look at is that “soul” line feels a little clunky. When contrasted with the other perspective you wrote, that the narrator here says it was a dark night, while the other talked about the moon being really big in the sky is an interesting contrast.

I really liked this, the character is believable and with their own speech quirks.