I could swear I’ve seen that last name before somewhere.
Okay, granted I’m in a pissy mood, but I’m not liking fragments today. The second “sentence” in the second paragraph could just as easily be a clause set off by no more than a comma. I also think the last sentence in the first paragraph could do without the ‘But then…’ beginning, but I am in a nitpicky mood.
Good atmosphere and mood to it, and I like the ending with a hint towards conflict and danger.

I agree, good atmosphere but wasn’t hooked by the HINT of danger at the end. For a begining, reads more like part of the first chapter. I do like using historical figures as the basis for a character in a vampire book. It expands our horizons in regards to the possibilities of a famous figure.

@THX, Vladimir Constantinescu (born 1895, died 1965) was a Romanian Major-General during World War II. Also sounds close to the “original” Dracula.

http://ficly.com/stories/11384 is the ficly in which Vladimir Constantinescu first appeared. Reading that ficly more overtly reveals my mindset in creating the current story.

“. . .write the opening to a novel. It can be as short as a sentence or as long as the full 1024.”

I tried to stay as close as possible to the instruction that the entry would be the first sentences in the entire novel. With that in mind, I chose atmosphere over action in order to forge a curiousity in the reader as to “who” Vlad might be, “what” might be his mission or purpose within the context of the book, “where” the book is set, “when” as in what segment of the historical time line, and “why” his story in particular was being told.

Trying to accomplish all that in 1024 characters was a fool’s errand, however Tina nailed it and THX suspected it, that this gently introduced ficly protagonist is indeed a vampire.

Now – heel or babyface?

Bob, Thanks for the breakdown of your thought process! I could see what you were going for. Guess I don’t get subtle. For the begining of a book I like to be hit over the head with action. THEN lulled by description and the exciting build up of hints to whats coming.
I did check out your previous ficly with Vlad in it and liked that because it moved along and left you hanging.