“Hello this is Aaron at WizWonders, how can I help you today?”

“Hi, I bought a spell from you guys about a year ago, the LeviLover, and it’s been blue screening over the last few days.”

“Alright, I’m happy to help. Can I get your name and Transport Pad ID please?”

“Sure. Sarah Jenkins, ID# SB842, Los Angeles.”

“Give me a moment please. Here you are. It was waved neurally on July 3, ’66?

“That’s right.”

“So what was going on when you noticed it blue screen?”

“What do you think?”

“Oh, of course. Sorry. What’s your spell doing now?”

“Not much. It wore off about an hour ago. I’ve been on hold with you guys since.”

“Which neural version are you using?”

“The one I was born with, 2.3.”

“Ah, well, therein lies the rub. LeviLover works fine with 2.x, but it can’t handle the strain like 3.0 can. I’d recommend an upgrade.”

“Won’t that hurt?”

“Not at all, we have a spell for that too.”

“And the cost?”

“Only 1o minutes of your downtime to test new prime number hunting algorithms.”

A sigh.

“Let’s do it.”