Holy Cow! Haunting. To bad he can’t enjoy it after all that work. A few type-o’s but didn’t see that ending coming!

I really, really love the idea of this and think the imagery is fantastic.

I’m unclear from what point the narrator is telling us this, though — the shift from present tense (where the “bride” appears to be newly finished) to past tense (referring to events before the bride was finished?) leaves me feeling adrift.

I want to be able to orient myself better, because the third- and second-to-last lines are killer.

Thanks! I will hunt for typos and present-past concordance. If you spot any please do let me know.

Ok C, you asked for them. A few mini typos.

“like new car”
Alt: “like a new car”

“You can’t even tell shes artificial, I kept myself from using organic materials as they would eventually rot.”
Alt: “You can’t tell shes artificial. I kept myself from using organic materials as they would eventually rot.”

Gives vs Gaves
“I discovered that using gold alloys gives a more natural appearance.”
Alt: “I discovered using gold alloy gave her a more natural appearance.”

Hope this helps a bit.