I deserve death

I was happy. Happier than most men living on this planet. I never feared the dark cloud of unhappiness. I never felt the need to.
I drank away to life, I dumped my responsibilities on someone else’s shoulder, I saw him weep and complete my tasks, I drank to my power.
I promised him a million dreams and saw him depressed when realization dawned on him. I drank to my creativity.
I managed resources and suffocated them. I saw them cry for help and I drank to my progress.
I drank his life and made him believe that life was not what he wanted. He looked at me with a teary eye and I drank to my thievery.
I shattered his dreams and made him believe that he was not worth the dreams. I drank to my evil mind.

But why all these thoughts now? I’m cursed, cursed by those I tortured. I cannot live or drink. I am bed ridden. Paralyzed to the core. I see no light, I see no hope. All I see is my death,which never keeps its promise. Please help my soul meet its creator. Please help me get what I deserve.

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