Inspiration (avec the penultimate line) attributed to the Almighty ElshaHawk

I love the stranger dropping in. Reminds me of Wizard of Oz and perhaps where he landed after taking off from the Emerald city.

so answer me this… the girl is controlling the shiny headed man with her mind!? That’s cool, creepy, and well done if so. otherwise it’s confuzzling to figure who is speaking and what’s going on at the end.

least favorite part of a line “she stated sulkily as the hat began…” sulkily is too easy and clunky, and conjoining that with ‘as’ is likewise lazy writing! ‘as’ is always the easy way out! haha

But I did dig into this one and the story and characters are well crafted and I’m very intrigued by the little girl and what she’s all about. Good work… nothing to sneeze at that’s for sure.

I thought he was a rather like a Nanny McPhee or Mr. Magorium, or Mary Poppins character that can make wonderful imaginary adventures real for the girl. The fact that she claims him at the end feels, to me, like she plans on exploiting this privilege. I did not see it as mind control, however if he is a figment of her imagination, then it would be mind control anyway.