I like the back and forth, the draw simultaneous with the guy’s displeasure at the company. The idea of a “large man” and anyone else on a stool was a bit of a stretch. Grammatically, you’ve got some run-ons early in the piece and a fragment later on (the sentence that starts with “though”, which would make it a clause). Lots of potential, just needs some cleaning up.

Oh, and I think you meant “sat” and “affixed” in that first sentence.

Thanks, yo. I haven’t written in a while so my grammer’s prolly off. You’re the man :)