Chilling! It’s panicked despair at a slow creep. I feel like I’m at the beginning of a zombie movie…where something is just waiting to pop out. Critically, the last line feels like an afterthought…everything flowed really well up until that. Didn’t have the punch I was expecting.

Ta muchlies. Yeah, I had no idea how to end this one, a nice idea about a big blackout, then nothing D:

You’re probably right about the zombies, it needs more zombies, but that didn’t fit into the theme of the challenge. Might sequel it it later and go Romero on my hometown.

Made me think of those flashback scenes from the movie version of the “The Road.” Brilliant as always, mate.

Neat situation, and I like that it’s a different sort of burning, a slow smoldering. I found the run-ons and fragments distracting, but I’m nit-picky like that.

One minor point — your two numbers should be spelled out. Otherwise, this reminds me quite a bit of of S.M. Stirling’s Emberverse series.

Yup, I was desperately grabbing for characters at that point though :3 so I had to grab the letters from the numbers.

Ta THX, yeah, I’m more concerned with getting words on the page at the moment, I’m still only a baby writer. Editing and polishing is the skill I’m going to have to learn next :)

the last line doesn’t have punch, but it has despair, and a nonchalance, like the person has no fight left. I think that’s what makes this piece so bleak.