So he swallowed a gib down the old windpipe and caught it on Polaroid? Worst things have happened to Bob “Double Windsor” Barker. Like the time he indefatigably courted and eloped with a beautiful Brazilian Bear Queen, despite detractors, and, verging upon the outer-regions of Bearington and the freedom to love without judgment forever, found he and his bear-to-be stopped in their tracks and face to face with the Bear Queen’s ex-lover, Hiraldo, and a massive army of Gophers.

Even able to fend off a furry army the size of Arkansas, Bob Barker had finally met his match with a giblet.

Or two.

He couldn’t remember. He hadn’t been counting. Those were the last, delicious moments of his life. No one could take those away.

As Bob Barker softly made his ascent cloudward, heavenly music began to envelop him. Softly, so softly at first, and then a crescendo to proud forte.

Tears formed: It was his theme. So this was heaven.

Bob Barker straightened his old man tie.

“Remember folks, spay and neuter your pets!”