Stitching your torso up is no mean feat, especially when you’ve got no idea how to sew. You’ve got to be careful and take your time with it. Otherwise, you risk mangling yourself worse than the rotten cunts responsible for you having to have an autopsy in the first place.

But enough about medical-grade crocheting. Let’s talk about answers for a minute, shall we?

When God determined that life was incomplete with only questions—such as “What happens if I eat the fruit from this tree?”—he invented answers. Shortly thereafter, mankind was expelled from the Garden of Eden, and things have been downhill ever since.

Sometimes they come in the form of a simple “Yes,” or “No.” Or as an action or of series of events, like three men in a black SUV pulling up next to you whilst you’re stopped at a red light and shooting the fuck out of you and your car with assault rifles.

And sometimes they come in the form of a plain DVD sitting on your desk with the words “WATCH ME” written on them in big black letters.