This strikes me as a great set-up for a much longer story. I want to know what happens next.

My favorite line: “Disappointment and blame lay as heavy as the clouds that rolled across the heavens.”

Why disappointment? Why the guilt?

Tell me! I must know. :)

Definitely a gruesome scene and a great set up with lots of possibilities for past (why there, what’s up with the town, why hang women) and the future (what is he to do, will he get hung, etc). Very nicely done.

Grammar nit-picky: I think your compound sentences need commas.

gross. This bugs me ‘The back and forth of the sounds..’ i guess you mean the swaying in turn with the wind/breeze, in a wave from one body to the next, to the next, like wind chimes.. but i was thinking it was the back and forth of the ropes that you already mentioned were creaking.
My favorite line is about the birds that plucked their eyes. :)
Why DID he come? does he have amnesia? Good questions to be answered later. :)

Why is it that places like this dislike outsiders? They only have so many in their own population to hang.

The tone of the piece is fabulous. It’s really easy to fall into cliches in a piece like this, but I think you steered well clear of them.

I didn’t encounter any textual speed bumps. On second reading, I have to agree with ElshaHawk about the ‘back and forth of the sounds’ line. I felt that the line ‘It chilled me to hear it.’ isn’t anywhere near visceral enough.

The only other thing that I’ll comment on is that, given the constraints of the character limit, I generally try to avoid saying anything in my stories that can be inferred from something else in the story. In this story of yours, I would be tempted to drop the first sentence entirely.

I am glad that everyone mostly enjoyed it. Thank you all for your comments and constructive criticisms.

@Paige- I’m glad that you had a favorite line. Those are always important to me, it let’s me know what I’m doing right.

@THX- Always a pleasure, not sure which sentences need commas, but if you Note me, I’ll be glad to give it another look.

@Elsha- I didn’t see what you meant at first but between you and August, I’ll see what I can do to change it. I know what I want to say and this was close but it’s not perfect. I’m glad that you have a favorite line too!

@Jae- Most small towns usually end up with a few extra people. I’m glad I earned another 4 from you.

@August- Thanks for the compliment and the criticisms. I’ll work on those lines. While I understand what you mean (and in this case I probably will drop the first sentence), I like using the first sentence as a base and building on it.

Thank you all so much! Very appreciated! Cheers!

Just realized I never actually commented on the story itself. To that effect: other than the compliments you have already received, I think the title of this piece is excellent. It acts both as an attention-grabber and summary of the story itself. Well chosen.

“It seemed the four were speaking to each other in a language no living being could duplicate.” I’d write it something like that, but that’s just me. If you like saying the sounds were unpleasant, then keep it.

Oh geez. The first paragraph took my breath away. I find it so hard just to cut to the chase in a story, something that you are obviously very good at. I loved the simile in the sentence about the skeletal trees/vultures/black fruit.

Wonderful story!

Congrats on the win Robert – I think that by dropping my entry as your Sequel I may have helped to pad your views (though of course, your entry merited those views even without my meddling)!

This was a very Poe-esque piece – so gripping and dark that I had to sequel it with something light hearted to settle my nerves!

The setting is ominous and intriguing. I to wonder why he is in that town. Hope we find out!

I liked: the dead were speaking to each other in croaks and whispers.

I just reread this, okay I clicked back on it and ‘grave misgivings’ jumped out at me. I hadn’t made the connection before, not even sure if it’s intentional, but I love the subtlety of the humour in such a dark piece.

Oh, how morbid! But beautiful in its morbidity oh my. The whole first paragraph is just superb. I must have read it four times just taking it in. It AMAZES me the calibre of authors we have on this site.

It reminds me of a small town in the Southern states in the 1900s. That unwanted solidarity of village folk.

I can see why this won. This is absolutely brilliant! Of course, there are unanswered questions, but that just adds to its allure. Good one!!