A lost hope
“Will I ever be good enough for you?” it’s unbelievable the amount of times I have uttered these words to you. Through all different types of emotions; sadness, anger, frustration…Yet it still doesn’t change your opinion of me. I can understand you want me to change, you always have done and I’m truly sorry for not living up to what seems likes your ‘expectations’, but why is it everyone I associate with seem to accept me, yet you don’t.
I try so hard, but sometimes I get the feeling whatever I may do won’t make you proud or content. It’s hard to imagine if I was how you would like me to be, would you honestly treat me any different?
I’m finally fed up of looking in the mirror and seeing myself as a disappointment, a failure…A ‘nobody’, I hoped you would have accepted me, it’s just it didn’t seem likely anymore. I constantly wanted your approval, your gratification…Yet it did not appear.
So I’m sorry I’m not what you expected Father, but I’m me, and that’s who I always will be… Inside and out.