Ah, the eternal promise of tomorrow!

There are definitely messages to be taken from this on all kinds of important issues – global warming, third world poverty, commissioning a new Harry Potter book – if they’re not done soon it’ll be too late for anything other than those practically pointless ‘good intentions’…

With regards to the piece’s structure though, I’d definitely like to see the use of those ellipses sorted out – only three dots necessary! Also, making it explicitly clear who’s talking, especially in the third paragraph.

So content is timely and interesting, writing itself could use some polish to bring this to full potential – MH :)

Thank you for your insightful comments, MH. I do not write often and this was my first attempt in a while to get back at it. I edited upon your recomendations. :) LB

Haha, atleast I know how I’ll die now. (Kidding, hopefully)

Good story! For a first attempt it was reallly pretty good, shows a lot of potential for the rest of your writing. I really liked the line about the character wanting to add somehting intelligent. It was funny.

For constructive criticism, “tomorrow” should have another ‘r’, and I think you mean “knowingly” instead of “knowingling”.

Great whack at it though! I say 4/5 for potential. :)

Cheers Kihd! And Thank you also.