The repetition here is perfect. I love how the line before changes it from being something harsh.

The two sections segue very well. I think they make a lot of sense while fulfilling the ‘broken’ requirement of the challenge.

Very tragic and a nice description of the in and out reality of really bad PTSD. Lots of contradictions, some of which work (darkness searing his eyes) and some that don’t (falls face first but you’re seeing the stains on his chest). Overall the feeling of helplessness comes through nicely.

It reminds me of those dreams that we all have as a kid, when you’re sick and fevered and nothing makes sense.

I can’t decide whether he is dying at the end or just falling into another dream. I’m happy with that. A little ambiguity never killed anybody.

Wonderful wordplay Bob! I really enjoyed the frumping nurse. lol
Even though it took us to a wierd and wacky place like we took morphine.