I think this is really simple and sad, Shank. Even though things are looking up for the main character, there’s a pervasive sense of worry. The only thing I’m not sure about is “after I dropped after high school,” – you mean dropped out, maybe? And later in that paragraph, “how it feels after all those rocks,” if he’s fantasizing might be better as “how it would feel.”

this is a nice simple story, I like it. I feel like the ending could use a bit more power to it though, it’s so easy to see coming that the simple ending doesn’t have the omph it should

thanks for the high school catch.

the other thing is intentional, though.

I thought it might be, but I wasn’t sure!

“after I dropped out after high school” seems a little off. Does it mean that the narrator did his dropping out after high school? In that case, what did he drop out of? Are they both referring to the same event? In that case, shouldn’t there be a comma immediately after “out”?

er, that was a typo.

it’s fixed now.

I like it. It’s got a real worried, forboding feel to it that gets under your skin.

nuzzle