Quite confused as to the role of this character, where he is, what time it is, and how innocent he is.
The last line seems serial-killer-material, like he is going after the girl next.
His fragmented thoughts make him seem uneducated and his crawling and grime adds to the lowly feel.
So I’m left with he image of a dirty, somewhat mentally ill, thief who might be a killer, who wants to be a sailor, from Barcelona Spain.

Odd little piece. I struggled at the start, and throughout you have your narrator seem almost half mad. Lots here and lots of potential; I just couldn’t quite get it all. The first paragraph seems like it could use a rewrite, though hard to say exactly how.

Thanks for the thoughts. He is slightly mad, and I didnt get the sailor bit across well… I wrote it originally at 5000 words, that may be my problem. I shall work on it :)

yeah cutting something down is very hard! perhaps, two parts would be easier.

edit 1 though I am not happy with it, I’ve lost my character…I think.