Twerp yelped like an umpire’s OUT! as the purple alien flung him through the air by his tongue wrapped feet. Flailing around to face the creature’s bulging eyes, he thought Crap, I’m an alien munchy!

With a slurping snap the monster pulled Twerp into its gaping maw, where he stuck half in, a boy cork in an alien bottle. Twerp grunted as the tongue gripped his legs tighter and tugged hard, firmly lodging him in its mouth. It emitted a disappointed whine.

Twerp’s enormous girth had saved him. Every pop-tart, slice of pizza and bag of chips he had snarfed had been worth every cruel taunt of Lard Ass and Big Butt he had endured over the years. A gust of hot sulfur blasted him in the face as the alien snorted in frustration.

“No Twerp Snack today!” Twerp raged into the monster’s face, shoving his metal baseball bat up to his wrist in a large mauve nostril. Thunk! Bright pink goo oozed out over his forearm, gagging him. Thunk!

Twerp shot out of the alien’s mouth on to home plate, feet tongue free.