A painted sign on the door read NONSENSE WILL NOT BE TOLERATED. Upon closer inspection, he could read the fine print.

By setting foot on the premises, residents or
owners of the land will not be held responsible
for loss of life, limbs, loved ones, mental health,
ownership, custody battles, fruit of any kind,
pocket change, significant amounts of blood,
clothing, innocence, direction, train of thought,
appetite, eyebrows, words, hair, kidneys,
or quality of life.

Lawyers will not be tolerated under any circumstances.

“Loss of fruit?”
“They used to have just ‘strawberries,’ but there was an incident with a pineapple, so they changed it,” she replied.